The Science of Making a Moon Rift. . . Fiction

Using any off-the-shelf Windows 7 computer, did you know you could cause a rift in time-space that makes the moon stay full until the winter solstice? Yes! There is a lot of math involved, so make sure the computer doesn’t have math games, only massive amounts of memory. There’s that much math being calculated. Once the programs have run, now the science comes into play wherein you must build a very delicate, but large, machine. Got tools? Okay, here we go. You will need: the moon (duh!), some string, Windows 7 on a pocket PC (yes, it can fit if you know the math), and oodles of noodles. Because you will get hungry.

Wrap the string around the moon 5 times, 2 weeks prior to the next full moon. Just make sure it is not the one before the winter solstice. Run electricity through the string (math, I told you). Oh, you don’t know how to do that? You must first cause a rift in time-space to obtain the necessary chemicals to treat the string in order for it to conduct. Consult your manual on those steps. There is a charge built, then place your photographic plate and lense just so, and FLASH. Your picture is ready, and you can view the moon as full until the winter solstice. Heck, it is a photo, so it lasts for ages.