Tracking a UPS Package Sent to NDAA Headquarters…Fiction

There we were, outside Fedex on a “dark and stormy night”. I know, it’s corny, but just keep reading. We had a rush order of blank packing slips for USPS that were made to order. One way to save costs is to use local businesses, instead of the government bloat commonly found using their contractors. We had accidentally used a UPS tracking number for it, instead of the Fed Ex tracking slip. Oops. The NDAA was already on our back, due to the “practical joke” someone played on Christopher Hitchens. I guess Christopher Hitchens got the last laugh, because now my boss can’t return the UPS package sent to him. Good one! Well, Fed Ex opened for business (in our pretend city, the hours are opposite, alright). They took the UPS tracking, because Fedex happened to buy both UPS and USPS. Now the name reads “The Alphabet”.

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